Sharon Struthers

You know, we just have the one word for love. That's why it means so much when someone says "I love you." We all want to hear those words from a friend, a partner, a parent, a child. To hear that you are loved is heart-warming, comforting and sometimes thrilling. 
 
So let's keep love special. The word love. That word brings a smile to our faces. That word is so important that it's sometimes hard to tell someone that you love them. And it's definitely hard to wait, all insecure, to hear those words from someone we love.
 
But we are surrounded with ads and messages designed specifically to take advantage of the power of love. And to put the glorious associations of that word to work to advance corporate profits. Snickers loves me! Someone loves my pins! And we all love a good sale.

It's not just advertising messages that expand the use of the word love . Observe the way you use the word love. When I first started being mindful of this, I was surprised how many times I replied to a text or a post with the word love -- referring to an awesome photo, an inspiring quote, a lunch invitation or a movie I just saw.
 
So I'm trying to stop using the word love so casually. Action comes after awareness. (Except alphabetically, when action comes before awareness.) But we all walk around with mini computers in our hands. so surely we can quickly find a substitute word for love when it has to do with donuts or days off.
 
I want to keep love special. And honor what it means to all of us. To know that we are loved. By someone we want to love us, not by a candy bar.
 
Disclosure: I shop at the Loft, which is why I had a "love a good sale" shopping bag that inspired this post. And I also really like @SNICKERS and always have, but I just don't feel the love. And Pinterest? I actually had two boards whose titles started "I love . . .", which I changed right away of course.

Sharon Struthers

Have you ever been out with a friend who seemed more interested in their phone than in you? This happened to me twice last week. I was not amused. And we're not millennials. We're boomers, for God's sake. Just goes to show you how addictive these dumb smart phones can be if you're not mindful when you're using them.

Where did our manners go? Why would anyone think it's okay to text at a table in a restaurant? Or check email? Or leave you hanging to make a non-urgent call? What is the message? You're not that interesting - maybe there's something better here on my phone?

The second time it happened, my friend actually got upset by something she read in a work email and took it out on a third friend who was having dinner with us. It was out of the blue. On the way home, when she admitted that it was the email that upset her and that's why she lashed out, I suggested that she could stay in the present moment and check email later when she was alone. She got defensive and said it only took a few minutes, refusing to acknowledge the repercussions of those few minutes. Prior to the table incident, she had sat in the parking lot checking her phone, while I sat in the passenger seat, feeling alone, waiting for her to finish. And no, she was not expecting any important emails or messages nor is she in a position where she might be needed to make critical decisions at any moment.

The weekend before, another friend had invited me to go to an outdoor concert in the city. We boarded the ferry and she soon started texting. I looked out the window and enjoyed the crossing though I had been looking forward to talking to her as it had been a while. After we walked to the outdoor concert and found a place to sit, she excused herself to make a phone call and left me on my own for a big part of the concert. At intermission, I asked her if there had been an emergency. She said no, that she was texting and talking with her friends back in her home state, planning activities for her trip home that was still two weeks away.

What's going on here? Both friends justified their behavior when gently asked about it. Neither seemed to consider whether it was okay to ignore the people you're with while you engage with the people on your phone.

The present moment is now. Be where you are. Be with who you are there with. The emails, the texts, the plans can wait. Can you?