Sharon Struthers

Sharon Struthers

Why am I having so much trouble giving up my vintage website?  Why am I so attached to it? This site is over 10 years old! It went vintage years ago. It’s Flash. It shows up as black on my iPhone and my iPad. I can’t edit it myself. But still I love it. I love those images. I like the everchanging word display about what you can do in the present moment. The first time I saw it, I was in Grand Cayman on vacation. I remember really liking it the first time I saw the designs. I didn’t change a thing, I liked it that much. But I have to let it go. It’s from another era. I have another website. That shows up on all devices. That I can add to and change up anytime I want. Life moves on. Sooner or later you’re going to have to break up with the website you love.

Sharon Struthers

You know, we just have the one word for love. That's why it means so much when someone says "I love you." We all want to hear those words from a friend, a partner, a parent, a child. To hear that you are loved is heart-warming, comforting and sometimes thrilling. 
 
So let's keep love special. The word love. That word brings a smile to our faces. That word is so important that it's sometimes hard to tell someone that you love them. And it's definitely hard to wait, all insecure, to hear those words from someone we love.
 
But we are surrounded with ads and messages designed specifically to take advantage of the power of love. And to put the glorious associations of that word to work to advance corporate profits. Snickers loves me! Someone loves my pins! And we all love a good sale.

It's not just advertising messages that expand the use of the word love . Observe the way you use the word love. When I first started being mindful of this, I was surprised how many times I replied to a text or a post with the word love -- referring to an awesome photo, an inspiring quote, a lunch invitation or a movie I just saw.
 
So I'm trying to stop using the word love so casually. Action comes after awareness. (Except alphabetically, when action comes before awareness.) But we all walk around with mini computers in our hands. so surely we can quickly find a substitute word for love when it has to do with donuts or days off.
 
I want to keep love special. And honor what it means to all of us. To know that we are loved. By someone we want to love us, not by a candy bar.
 
Disclosure: I shop at the Loft, which is why I had a "love a good sale" shopping bag that inspired this post. And I also really like @SNICKERS and always have, but I just don't feel the love. And Pinterest? I actually had two boards whose titles started "I love . . .", which I changed right away of course.

Sharon Struthers

Have you ever been out with a friend who seemed more interested in their phone than in you? This happened to me twice last week. I was not amused. And we're not millennials. We're boomers, for God's sake. Just goes to show you how addictive these dumb smart phones can be if you're not mindful when you're using them.

Where did our manners go? Why would anyone think it's okay to text at a table in a restaurant? Or check email? Or leave you hanging to make a non-urgent call? What is the message? You're not that interesting - maybe there's something better here on my phone?

The second time it happened, my friend actually got upset by something she read in a work email and took it out on a third friend who was having dinner with us. It was out of the blue. On the way home, when she admitted that it was the email that upset her and that's why she lashed out, I suggested that she could stay in the present moment and check email later when she was alone. She got defensive and said it only took a few minutes, refusing to acknowledge the repercussions of those few minutes. Prior to the table incident, she had sat in the parking lot checking her phone, while I sat in the passenger seat, feeling alone, waiting for her to finish. And no, she was not expecting any important emails or messages nor is she in a position where she might be needed to make critical decisions at any moment.

The weekend before, another friend had invited me to go to an outdoor concert in the city. We boarded the ferry and she soon started texting. I looked out the window and enjoyed the crossing though I had been looking forward to talking to her as it had been a while. After we walked to the outdoor concert and found a place to sit, she excused herself to make a phone call and left me on my own for a big part of the concert. At intermission, I asked her if there had been an emergency. She said no, that she was texting and talking with her friends back in her home state, planning activities for her trip home that was still two weeks away.

What's going on here? Both friends justified their behavior when gently asked about it. Neither seemed to consider whether it was okay to ignore the people you're with while you engage with the people on your phone.

The present moment is now. Be where you are. Be with who you are there with. The emails, the texts, the plans can wait. Can you?

Sharon Struthers

If you are concerned about your weight, the last thing you want to do is share comfort food photos on Facebook or pin comfort food recipes on Pinterest. You know the ones I'm talking about. They look so yummy. Creamy, cheesy baked pasta goodness. Casseroles with eggs and bacon and cheese. Desserts to die for.

You know why? Because Facebook or Pinterest will just keep serving you up more of these delicious photos. And they trigger and reinforce unhealthy cravings, which may have been lying peacefully dormant in your subconscious.

You don't need to stir those cravings up, forcing them to rise to your conscious awareness and drive you crazy. It's not in your best interest. It's not your intention. It's not your goal. So be careful when you're on social media.

And don't forget that if you merely use Google to look for a comfort food recipe, Pinterest magically gets that information and starts serving you up whatever you Googled. Last week, I Googled open lane hours for the local high school swimming pools, and by the next day, Pinterest had links to both high schools, complete with photos of their lovely pools.

Sometimes we forget that we have given up some of our online privacy when we use social media and search engines. At any rate, give yourself a break and reduce your cravings. You won't miss what you don't see.

Sharon Struthers

Many people I know measure their worth by their personal numbers. A few recent examples that people have shared with me, without me asking a single question or expressing any interest at all:
 
How much money they have. (almost always 7 figures.)
How many houses they have. (3 and counting.)
How many people reported to them in their last job. (hundreds!)
How many tennis skirts they have. (22 but they used to have many more.)
How much their bicycle cost. (12k but they got it for 8.)
 
Honestly, they share this willingly and many times fairly quickly after I first meet them. Like throwing down the gauntlet and establishing some sort of numerical superiority or safety shield.
 
I think it’s a carry-over from work, where they are constantly being evaluated and judged by their numbers.
 
In fact, just recently I was reading an article that said that marketers and creative types need to realize that the days of intuition are over. That numbers are the only road to success.
 
Numbers may be able to point to the right people to target and evaluate which tactics or messages get the job done – whether it’s sales, utilization, or satisfaction.
 
But MarTech only gets part of the job done. Because people are quirky. They’re changeable. They’re unpredictable. Sometimes they don't really know what they want.
 
And a great product or ad campaign that’s grounded in numbers but founded on intuition has far more potential to exceed your expectations.
 

 After finishing a two-year digital marketing gig in Grand Cayman, I traveled to Nosara, Costa Rica for Yoga Teacher Training. It was pretty much a last-minute decision, as many of my better decisions are.
 
A few island friends urged me to go because they thought I would enjoy the laid-back surfing lifestyle of Nosara. A 30-day course was starting a few days after I was to leave Cayman. This transition would be a beginning, not an ending.
 
During orientation at the world-renowned Nosara Yoga Institute, owners Don and Amba Stapleton welcomed 50 teacher trainees and introduced us to a kinder and more personal way of teaching yoga.
 
One key message from that evening has stuck with me: "nobody is here to be criticized." It was emphasized. We all nodded. Not one of us had traveled to Central America to be criticized.
 
I have had my share of dysfunctional workplaces, where there was quite a bit of criticism flying around every day.
 
A lot of gossiping, blaming, back-stabbing, throwing-under-the-bus, and other less-than-effective ways of interacting with fellow workmates.
 
Criticism – as practiced by the masses as opposed to professional critics - is part of the language of dysfunction. It is defined as finding fault.
 
Criticism comes in many forms – direct or indirect, honest or dishonest, hurtful or tactful. It can be inadvertent, sarcastic, mean-spirited, cloying, and sometimes even constructive.
 
Criticism can scar. It can last beyond the moment, leaving residuals of doubt, insecurity, and resentment.
 
With mindfulness and determination, we can always find a better way to interact with those around us and get the desired results without anyone feeling criticized.
 
Once we remember that no one is here to be criticized, ourselves least of all, we start creating a more civilized world.

Sharon Struthers

​Have a lot of ideas but just can’t lay your hands on one?
Need a way to archive web pages you’ve used as sources?
 
Here are two of my current favorite apps, Evernote and Pocket, which help me:

• keep track of and develop ideas for writing projects
• organize and archive digital assets that I used in the past, need now or may need down the line
  

 
Try them out – you can get the basic versions at no cost. They’re both easy and rewarding.
 
Evernote: More than a parking lot for ideas
 
Do you get great ideas, then forget them while looking for a pen or opening a note app to write them down? And if you do manage to write them down somewhere, those ideas quickly become either misplaced or meaningless.
 
I found Evernote when I was frustrated and bored with Trello. Both give you a quick and easy place to go to jot down ideas as they occur to you.
 
I had been using Trello for about a year and had logged over 100 ideas for books, articles and blog posts. At year’s end, during the slow holiday season, I wanted to see what I had. To sort those ideas. To see patterns. To get inspired.
 
But I was stymied. Intuitively at least, I couldn’t seem to do anything to see those ideas in a new way.
 
Then I heard about Evernote, signed up and moved my 100+ ideas one by one, adding notes, tags, photos and research links. Evernote has a very user-friendly interface. I am frequently motivated to add thoughts, paragraphs and resources to my ideas. Just what I was looking for.
 
Pocket: More than a place to save articles to read later
 
Every morning, I was getting bogged down reading various worthy (and unworthy) articles linked from my Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn feeds, as well as from various email newsletters.
 
It was not a good way to start the day. It derailed me from using my best time of the day for writing.
 
Ironically, I was reading a blog post about an app called Pocket, so I downloaded the little icon that lives on your browser and lets you save web pages with the click of a button. And tag them. Now I just save those articles I want to read in Pocket, and browse through them later in the day.
 
I soon realized that I could use Pocket to archive all of the web pages I consult when I research new topics. (I’ve been writing a lot of web pages for patients and their families about health conditions and treatments lately.)
 
By saving each resource to Pocket and tagging it with the topic and client, it’s easier to make revisions. I’m also able to easily locate the source of any information in question.
 
And it couldn’t be easier. As I close out of each source website, I just save it and tag it.
 
I also like to save articles I might need for future projects I’m considering, as well as favorite articles that I just want to hang onto for a while. I use Pocket every day. You’ll be surprised how fast you populate your Pocket home.

Sharon Struthers

I’m in a workplace environment where nothing ever gets done. That’s not uncommon, I know. The focus here is always on strategic thinking (or more like strategic scheming.) The primary output of management is strategic planning.

But what seems to get the least amount of attention is strategic doing. There is no balance. All of the time and resources are used up thinking, scheming, planning.

That’s why it takes most organizations literally years to get key projects done. And by the time they’re done, there’s a tinge of obsolescence to them. And when it’s time – at the one year or two year mark - to update the strategic plan, very few of the tactics have been completed or even remembered.

I posted a quote from Steve Yastro the other day that I found inspirational:

‎"I’m a big advocate of strategic planning. But the kind of planning I like is living, organic, flexible and evolving … it’s about creating an approach to your business that enables you to take a kernel of success and help it evolve into something more substantial. Great strategic plans are alive.“

I think this applies to my life, too. I’m going to take my "kernel of success and help it evolve.”